Cauterised's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Shopping Cart Hero 2]

most frustrating game of all time

You have it all pretty much. watchable graphics, cool upgrades, but the timing on the tricks is so fucked that you crash every other turn. Theres no point in getting the golden cart, or the groupies, and the worm thing was totally pointless, I never saw it after the cutscene. learn to balance the timing and maybe make ALL the upgrades worth something and it'll be playable. otherwise this game just makes me want to scream.

[Pac vs Alien]

totally flawed

The difficulty curve is COMPLETELY flawed. There are literally impossible levels. The spaceship time limit was roughly 3 seconds, the obstacle course was completely dependent on LUCK, and the face puzzle was horribly frustrating. I'm seriously tired of games that do nothing but piss the gamer off.

[Amateur Surgeon Christmas]

ehhhh

Loved the other amateur surgeons, and thats because they were a lot of fun. Challenging but not frustrating. This game was so hard it just pissed me off, it wasn't even fun. Therefore, it's just not worth playing to me.

[Tycoon]

stupid extremists

Alright, so I gave this a 5/5, but a 2/10, and here's why:

As I'm sure people have noticed, this is one of those games with a "message" that everyone hates, or should hate if they have a fucking brain.

All this game has proven is that companies with nationwide chains are the only ones that can afford to recycle and still stay afloat in the marketplace, but they still don't do it. This game forces you to play the bad guy and export your e waste to 3rd world countries because it's cheaper, but it doesn't seem to take into account that a startup business HAS TO DO THAT OR THEY WILL GO UNDER IN LESS THAN A YEAR. This whole facade basically makes those "evil corporations" you damn hippies hate so much into quite possibly the only ones who can afford to keep the planet in a state of harmony, given that the small startups and groups simply can't afford to do it.

You want to blame someone? Get off the coporations' asses and start getting after the government, who controls the cost of recycling.

"It's easy to forget when you're making money" Oh fucking spare me your guilt trip laden bullshit. What the hell are you doing about it besides making half-decent flash games to spread the word. Do you have any idea how small of a niche this is to be advertising to?

I'm sick and tired of so-called "activists" that do their activism on the computer. GET OUT AND DO SOMETHING IF IT MATTERS TO YOU. Whats this site going to have next? Badges?

You've got a lot to learn before you go making statements about the relationship between the US economy and environmentalism.

cchen20 responds:

Hm you make a good point. But I didn't really make this game to be an accurate simulation of a market economy. All I'm trying to do is get the player to think a little and see things from a different point of view.

[The Swords]

um, no thanks

Ok, gameplay was bearable I guess, the art was just awesome, but this is still kind of a crappy game.

First of all, why does "Forces of darkness" mean cute little chickens and rams and pigs? Second off, DEAR SWEET CHRIST HIRE A TRANSLATOR. I couldn't even read the dialogue without losing IQ points. The money system was flawed, in that pretty much all of it goes towards healing your retarted partner, who's only purpose is to take hits apparently.

I was horribly dissappointed by this game, but points for effort.

[B.C. Bow Contest]

unfair and horribly thought out

I won't even get into why, because everyone else has said whats wrong with this crappy game. The rules are unfair, the AI is completely unbalanced, the "special" arrows are useless in such low quantities, and mochi ruins any game instantly. Aren't developers gamers themselves? Have you forgotten what the flash portal is about?

[Dragon Boy]

Horrid

Well to start off its just a Diablo 2 clone. Secondly, get your stats right man, a boss shouldn't be dropping the same shit or even less than an enemy. The reviver's were unnecessary and just plain aggrivating, and the items are unimaginative and unfair. Seriously, did you try playing this game yourself before you posted it?

[Ge.ne.sis]

well, that failed

Not much use reviewing a game you can't play. The battle phase never switched to action. Not once. All I can do is run around and get attacked. Try making the game playable and you'll get a good review. 3 for art.

[Days 2 Die-The Other Side]

wouldve had a 10 but...

Unfortunately you don't seem to understand that irritatingly hard bosses go towards the end of the game, not the very beginning.

[Kidnapped by the Pharaoh]

screw this

All this game did was piss me off. The hints are FAR too vague and you have to wander the entire place for a single puzzle. The switch puzzle was by far the most aggravating. Hiding the coins was idiotic. Didn't like this game one bit.